theincrediblyasininelylongupdatebroughttoyoubylenaandsashaspeerpressure.

1. Are you ready? Please by all means grab a bottle of wine, a 40, a cigarette, shit, even pop some popcorn....we could be here all day. And no I would not blame any fool for not ready the whole entry in its entirety.
   
   Aaaaahhhhhh where to begin...Let's see. It's not my fault, as usual that my update is going on two months. For those who know me, nothing is ever my fault, so it seems that I must stay true to myself and blame the following on this hella ridiculous delay:
   
   1. Nothing monumentally amusing has happened to me worth blogging about. Go figure. First for everything.
   
   2. I started going back to school this summer, and let me tell you something....if you are older than 22, I suggest you not pick an Art major. Go with Human Resources, Business, or something geriatric related. Because, I warn you, If you are 25 like my ass you will feel like a grandmother next to all these weed smoking, care free, black nail polish, flip flop wearing 17 year olds. My schedule has actually prevented me from writing as much...okay, writing at all. I'm in school 13 hours two days a week, then still have a night class, and squeezing in three ten hour days at work- exhausting. Getting to campus in downtown Atlanta is a patience hog all in it's own. Thought I was being smart by riding the schools shuttle bus (thanks for the warning Lena)- but fighting the herd to get on that is like fighting for free clean water in a third world country....speaking of third world countries....
   
   3. I am going on six, yes I said six months sharing my one bedroom apartment. B205 is starting to feel like a map for an I.N.S case worker. That's right, I said it. We are living like immigrants. Fuck you if you find that shit offensive, its the GE-YOD damn truth. I love my friends, my brother, and my mother, who have all taken turns staying for a period of time with me. But when it gets to a point that the $170.00 worth of adult fun stuff you buy is going unused because the bathroom is never available, there is always someone on your couch, or in your room....it's exhausting. Nevertheless, the more the merrier, and I am sure that I won't know what to do with myself once I am alone. Except maybe go through eight packs of batteries....speaking of toys....
   
   4. I bet some of you are wondering about the crotch rot. I really should stop calling J that since we are both clean (it cost me $867.48 to find that out- fuck you health insurance. I thought I paid $900 a quarter for a reason...) Is he still around? Drumroll please***************************************************************************************************************************************************um, yeah. While we still don't really hang out, he recently has informed me that the new car he bought is "our" car, he wants to work on getting back together, and telling me I need to be patient. I am patiently awaiting him to tell me he never told me any of those three things. Other than that, I really am just looking forward to my new battery operated collection.
   
   ***I have officially received the certified honest blogger award, and apparently it was done to put some fire under my ass- Thanks Sasha for that text, it woke the whole class up****
   
   
   
   

1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back

2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Honest Weblog’

4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).

5. And then we pass it on!

So here goes...10 random things about me, that I hope I don't regret being honest about....

1. I hate people who litter. In fact if I was to predict ever a reason for going to jail, it would probably be over fighting with some fool that left the Mrs. Winners garbage all over my parking lot.
2. I love mayonnaise. Yeah I stole that from Sasha, but it's the truth. Thank god for Canola oil mayonnaise because now I can put even more on my french fries, sandwiches, and eggs...and not wish that I had some sort of gag reflex to go purge after I eat.
3. As someone who can be extremely "judgemental" and characterized as rude to a point, some people may find it hard to believe that I have difficulty saying no to a guy who asks for my number. If I tippy toe around the subject, and have exhausted my options for everything BUT saying no, and they still ask...I program them under the DON'T contact in my phone.
4. It took me only one situation to realize that if a man truly enjoys or expresses time and time again, to put in the poop chute, you might one day run into him with your gay best guy friend and piece it all together. Hopefully it won't take any of you one time.
5. One of my boobs is extremely larger than the other. Yep, I got a handful and a mouthful. They have been dubbed Biggie Smalls and I am convinced that I could place first and third simultaneously in any given wet t-shirt contest.
6. I am extremely emotional. Okay, again, maybe that was about as clear as day...but I can't remember the last time I watched Oprah, those incredible sad drunk driving commercials, The Pursuit of Happyness, and didn't ball my eyes out. I even pathetically weeped over Making the Band recently when Brian cried.
7. I, no matter how depressed I am, will listen to even MORE depressing music and STILL wonder why I can't get out of my emotional wreck less hole and want to slit my wrists. This does include country music. Shh.
8. I am the best drunk person ever. I am extremely good at keeping the tequila down until my babysitters ever so kindly pull over. And I can give you directions better than a TomTom.
9. I will never understand sleeping with someone and not kissing them. That just might be the strangest-coldest-feel-like-a-two-dollar-trick set up that I am not OK with. If Captain Winkie wants to ride my waves, he better know how to navigate more than just the oars. Oh and yeah, not eating the cookie jar is so '97.
10. I can successfully find anyone who has ever been incarcerated, and have been known to be the one to run to whenever you need help cracking exes passwords, finding your exes latest, figuring out numbers, and even am familiar with a tax program that can tell you who bought what house, the address, sq footage, in the state of GA. Maybe I should have gone with the Criminal Justice program, because I am pre-wired for investigation.

And I don't know if I am allowed to give out the same award to people who have already received them, but if Britney Spears can take three awards from the VMAs out of no where, I can give out this shit to whoever I want.

1. Jarrod Halsey- The man who introduced me to the blog world, and someone I will never understand how brutally intelligent and humorous he could be. And yes JH I see your head getting bigger from here.
2. Sasha- second blog I became addicted to. I swear if lighting striked the same place twice, this chic would be it's target. Different day, different story...and my days wouldn't be the same without tryin to keep up with her ass. She is proof that a chic I might give the ice grill to at the west indian club, is just like me
3. Lena-This butt-er-pee-kin rican (yeah I know its spelled pecan, but for some folks who never heard it before I had to pull a wikipedia enunciation on the ass) Girl has been through it and back- and still not bitter. Gotta give love on that one
4. Verysmartbrothas- oh god the hilarity of that shit.
5. Q- thank god Sasha had a link for you because I don't know how you come up with some of the shit you come up with. And I am so jealous when you and Sasha get together because I know it is riiiiii-muh fuckin-diculous.
6. The Saga- okay so he doesn't blog...but he sure is honestly good to look at.
7. Kieya- Began to read her blog recently, and I give props to anyone who can be blunt with their shit and still find ways to creatively use someecards in over half their blogs.
8. GOODENess- again someone I got into more recently, and thank god for that...more humorous blows for my day.

Alright-y'all done worn me out. And oh would you look at that, I have to go BACK to class. Fan fuckin tabulous.

Missed you all, thanks for those who checked up on me. I'm still alive, my chocha and my sanity are still in tact, and still single and ready to...get a toy...