Drama only comes in a restricted phone call

OK, so if I have ever learned anything in the past ten years of life its that *67 at times can be your best friend. But ladies and gentleman I promise, it can become your worst nightmare. Now I don't know about y'all but when my phone rings through unavailable, restricted, or private- it's bad business. In fact you call me from a restricted number you gonna get the rudest most gully attitude an Italian could ever put down. And here are a few reasons why *67 aren't doin it for me.

Ladies: It could be that psycho ex boyfriend tryin to call, somebody's baby mama tryin to track down this fool like we supposed to know where they at, Your new mans ex-girl callin with her friends just breathin in the phone like she the new cast member of star wars, your man's girl on the side causin all sorts of drama.....just DRAMA.

And fellas this restricted caller ID conspiracy effects you too. Who you think calls you five times when yours triflin' behind was supposed to be home 4 hours ago? Who do you think calls and hangs up just to make sure your phone was workin when you didn't call? or calls on restricted after we called you from our unblocked number and you didn't answer? or how bout callin from restricted and tryin to crack into your voicemail....just DRAMA.

And this isn't true in all cases. Hell I've been through all that, but now I get the fun twist in the unavailable call history reports. Creditors. Oh you know they thought they were smart when they figured this shit out. Callin me on restricted thinkin I'm gonna answer. Well you know what I got for them. They got their own ringtone. Yup you got it. All incoming unavailable numbers have now been designated Wu-Tang Clans "CREAM" ringtone. Now i Hear that, that phone can be in the bottom of my purse and guess what, it's gonna stay there. I didn't have their money last month, I don't have it this month, and my logic reasoning can only come up with this hypothesis : they aren't gettin it next month. So I'm not answering. And if I do answer because they got their act together and hit *82, I tell them that Cristina isn't here, she went to rehab, holla back in 6 months. And if 6 months passes and they still are calling, I tell them I relapsed. So sorry.

I just think that some scandalous person designed this system. Parole officers, private detectives, some psychotic scandalous baby mamma, and apparently telemarketers and bill collectors. Just warning people. Beware. Do not pick up your phone. If we ban together on this issue *67 will become a thing of the past and we can all know who is blowin us up. Besides you can only hear Cash rules everything around me, CREAM, get the money, DOlla Dolla Bills y'all so many times until you want to put Drano on your q-tips.