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Thursday, April 3, 2008

checkmate.

So let me get this straight. You call my friend. You tell her that you don't want me in pain. That you care about me. You keep her ass on the phone for over an hour until she has to tell you that she got another call. Probably because she her brain felt it was exploding out of her head and was sick of hearing you over and over like a bad techno song. You never say anything different. It's always the same "I don't want a relationship, but I love her. I want my freedom, but I want her in my life." Blah blah blah. FUCKERY. That's what that is. You tell her that you can't focus on anything. And that no matter what, nothing and no one is going to change our relationship. But then what do you do? You turn around and not only delete me off facebook, you BLOCK me. Didn't you just tell my friend how much you cared about me? You knew that would hurt me. And I am not going to sit here and lie and say I don't care. I am having the most Lifetime Movie Marathon of emotions sitting here writing this. I have never in my life been "deleted" from any man's life. I was always the girl that was "too good to let go." Shame on me for thinking 2.5 years meant more to you. Shame on you for not acknowledging that it wasn't. I want so badly to call you and rip you a new one. So badly to pummel the lies out of your cold cruel hearted head. But I wont. I said I could go on with out you. I just couldn't fathom it was on your terms. After all you've done me wrong for so long. I guess I'm just bitter that I didn't have the strength to "delete" you first. Either way, thanks for helping me move on to bigger and better things that someone of my level deserves.

2 comments:

Lena said...

Don't call. I've learned that guys would do shit like that because they want you call and that's their way of getting you to do it. Stupid I know. Be strong!

boo said...

booooooooo him.
*wipes tears*
girl your emotion and that damn song got me over here tearin up like i'm the one being deleted from someones life.

plain and simple (this was told to me by a man) if he wanted you he would be with you, because if he wanted you, he couldnt fathom (lord my spelling) you being with anyone else. if he loved you so much, if he wanted you all to himself, you would be his.

it hurts i know. i have been there, and you went through 1.5 years more than I did so I can only immagine what you must be feeling. Just know, that I thought I would never get over it. I thought I would cry for ever. I'm talking my entire BODY crying, sobbing, misserable. But as time went by, I became stronger, and I was able to think clearly, and ratoinally, without my heart, and move on.

you cannot wast any more of your precious years (as life is truly short) on someone who would rather take those years for granted. lacey JUST went through this TODAY!! what is in the fucking water??? so you BOTH have me all emotional. LOL hold your pretty head up, because you are special, you got it goin on, and you're not so old that someone wont find you and see what you have to offer and not only apreciate it but RELISH in it.

write me if you're ever in need to vent. i know you got your own damn friends hehe, but you know how to reach me.

(lord i need to get my bc pills back, im a damn cry baby lately)