He don't got game

soo my blogger bff...wow that's super corny-sorry Bellevue-Had a great idea...come together and check fellas on their game.... There are a few signs that woman recognize as "game." And as woman, we can come together and probably single handedly find each whack line, gimmick, or bootleg individual. Here are her personal tricks to the trade:

1. Your style of dress. If you're dressed like an extra in a 50cent video, dont walk up to a woman in a pants suit and expect her to even give you eye contact. Even a man with a low budget can dress himself to apeal to most women. Its not about how much the shirt cost, its whether or not your pants are hanging off your ass and you have fake jewelry on every extention of your body. If you even LOOK like a stereotypical D boy, you wont get ANY attention from me, or most women who have respect for themselves and want to keep their criminal reccord clean.

2. Your aproach. Fellas fellas fellas. Stop walking up to women who are ignoring you intentionally. We arent playing hard to get. If we want you to talk to us, we will at one point, be caught looking at you. Pay attention to our body language. Do not come on to us like a dog in heat. If you see a woman checking you out, aproach her gently and try using humor. "I saw you staring at me" will make her uncomfortable and not know what to say to you. For example if you're in a grocery store, pay attention to what she's buying, make a cute joke, or compliment something. Reach for cosmopolitan and giggle saying you read the articles so you know what bra's to buy. The way to any real woman's heart is humor, and intelligence. I have had men who make me laugh until I'm red in the face upon meeting them, and it gets them major points. Just make sure your ass is actually funny.

3. ASK HER FOR HER NUMBER. Do not leave it up to a woman to call you. You are a man. You must make the first move. If I am given a phone number, you just put the ball in my court. 9 times out of 10 (and I have done this). I will find a way to use you to my advantage and not take you seriously. I assume that if you dont ask for my number, you wont be able to call me to ask to take me out, and if you're not calling to ask to take me out, I'm not ready to take you seriously. It seems like something so small, but it is very important.

4. Do not call late. If you start calling late as hell, and god forbid you call me after 12am!! You've just been set to the side as possible booty call, but considering it would take me a very very long time to call you for that, you'll be cut off completely. I put your number next to the "secret box" in my closet for emergencies ONLY. Any female who hasnt used a man for that purpose is full of shit. When you call a woman, keep in mind that most of us are expecting you to be a gentleman. If you call after 10 on a monday, I wont pick up. If you want to go out on a tuesday night, I'll assume you have no job, or dont take your job seriously.

5. Listen and get to know her. Educate yourself and have something to talk about. Dont call just to hear me breathe on the phone. Excessive compliments will freak most women out. We like compliments, but if all you have to say to me is how pretty I am, it will deem you as creepy or just down right BORING. Dont be boring. The men in my life who do well with women, love to talk. They will talk talk talk with me until all hours of the night. If you can carry a conversation, you will keep a woman's interest. Women are mental creatures.

6. Dont talk future too fast. We can SMELL weak game a mile away. Too many compliments, too many baby's (too soon), talks of the future too soon, and we will peep that shit. It works on teenage girls, not on us grown folk. You need to upgrade your tactics. It actually SCARES US AWAY NOW.

7. When you're aproaching a woman with kids, Be very cautious. Do NOT show hyper interest in the kid. That sends the spidey senses crazy. We KNOW that game too. Act like you like the kids and think its going to get you somewhere. SMH.

Does all this shit sound really simple? It is. Its shit we EXPECT from you. Some wont consider this GAME because its pretty easy stuff. But you wont believe how many men cant seem to conquer the basics. This seems like dating right? But even if all you want is a friendship with a woman, these things work just as well. Women respond so well to respect & chivallry.

If all you want is ASS, by all MEANS SKIP ALL THIS SHIT!! For respect reasons, dont game women into having sex. I was talking to a guy earlier today who came at me over a year ago trying to get the pooms. He SUCKED at it.

He kept calling me late as hell. Everytime he did, I wouldnt answer the phone, and I wouldnt call him. Finally I told him he's already got his point accross and I'm not interested in his brand of bullshit, but he kept up with the "baby" I just want to get to know you, I call late because I work late, blah blah bullshit. His number went in the emergency booty call box, and he never got a phone call.

If you're going to game me, do it well. Dont half ass it. If I catch "booty call option" on my radar, you'll get canned. There are women out here, whome you can skip all this stuff, and tell her strait up, that you just want sex, and she'll give it to you. If you can help yourself, dont lie to women to get them into bed. BUT if you are goign to game a woman into bed, be smart. We can sense your intentions easier the older we get.

Did I miss anything?

And although Ms. Bellevue got it pretty much dead on- I had some of my own:

There is also a time and a place to approach a woman. I don't care if I looked like I just stepped out of Kim Kardashian camp....I'm at the gas station. If I wanted to hang out and get picked up, I would be standing right where you have been (probably for the last hour)....If you are in the store, paying attention to a woman's shopping, please refrain from hollerin if you see an EPT. I obviously got more shit on plate that worrying about how much you wanna get to know me. Obviously I have already fallen for that shit otherwise I wouldnt be flagging down a cashier for the key to the kiosk in aisle 11. Move on. (and yes that is a true story....)

If we make it to a level where we are kickin it. Check the sex talk. I do not want to hear after the first time doin the do, that you want your trincket to be the last one up in me.

Don't call me from restricted. I don't answer the creditors calls so I won't answer yours. It's obvious you are trying to hide your number, or surprise me. Either way-kick rocks.

The late phone calls....ahhh yes. You have instantly been filed into "we obviously know where this is going" category. I do have a life, and a job, and I need my beauty sleep so I can hopefully pull someone a step up from the bullshit that is callin me at 3:36.

If you are seriously interested in talking to me, don't make some weak excuses as to where you been for the past three days. If you are really diggin me, you would want to talk to me. I know your ass didn't lose any major appendage, my number, or your sense for the past 72 hours...

Don't try and chill with me one on one. We are not a confidential sporting event. Eventually I need to meet your people, be taken in public, or I know that I am your little "Secret." My name is not Latocha Scott.

I have been slick before and ask a dude to call my phone. "I can't find it can you call my phone." And casually grace over onto his screen...if my number is not programmed....you suck. And it is not programmed for a reason. If you can program in your voicemail number jackass, you surely can find a place for me amongst your 200+ contacts.

Don't tell me you are gonna take me out to some nice restaurant, do all these great things....then take me to Olive Garden. Yes I'm Italian, yes I love me some pasta....but can you take me to a restaurant that doesn't include anything all you can eat? I am not one to have to have someone drop paper on me...but if you are gonna talk about it be about it.